Friday, March 03, 2006

A thought

I was thinking tonight. Not unusual. But, I came to realize that I've been given some really good advice from an unlikely source; advice that I must say, I rarely put into practice. My roofing foreman this summer had a tatoo of Jesus on his arm. At first I found it somewhat offensive and disrespectful that he would wear Jesus while he was working. I finally got the courage to ask him about it though. He said, "I got this tatoo here to remind me that I ain't jack sh** in this world."

Perhaps the best advice that I've ever had. And I've realized that until I get outside of my world and plans and dreams and happiness, I'm going to spin in cirlces wondering why nothing seems right. I've been proud enough in my time to say that I'm going to be someone, or going somewhere with my life, or I'm going to change the world, or I'm going to love people. When really the someone I want to be, I am not, for the simple fact that I can't change myself, let alone the world; the place I want to go, I can't get to; and I don't know what the freaking word love means. And I'm convinced that until I realize that I am nothing in the grand scheme of things, I'm going to decieve myself into thinking that I can live life on my own. How stupid.